I'm a slow learner.

Before I get started with where I want to go, I want to have a disclaimer on this post. When I started this blog, I told myself that this would be a place to tell you (whoever reads this?) what has been going on in my life. Though this doesn't exactly meet that requirement, I feel like using a blog to write about the lessons that I've learned and am learning is justifiable. I never intended on using this blog as my "platform" to write about my views on life/politics/faith/etc but I also think that sharing lessons of what God is doing in my life could be valuable (?) (I sure think it is!)

This comes about due to a few conversations with friends that I've had in the past few weeks and also as the result of God continually telling, or screaming at (as I said I'm a slow learner) me to listen to what He's trying to tell me. I've had an interesting past 8 months of my life and I'm so thankful for the fact that I have friends who ask me hard questions like, "how are you growing through this?" and "are you learning more about God's grace through this?" So this blog is a result of those questions and God's faithfulness and patience with me. I know that this was a really hard but important lesson for me to learn in my life and I hope it challenges other people to ask these questions as well. 

It all started for me when things didn't go according to how I planned my life to go. Although this was a lesson I learned through specific scenarios to my life, this is a lesson that applies to any time something doesn't go according to how we plan; jobs, relationships, friendships, etc. When things go "wrong" we are left with the question of where to turn and also where do we find our joy? Or as the pastor of my church in Denver has said, "When trials come, we are left with the question of who or what we put our faith in and secondly whether that thing will save us (and provide us with joy)." I know for me, it is a struggle not to trust in the relationships I've made, my friends, my family, my education, and my abilities to provide the happiness/joy I want in my life. Now for the lesson that I've learned (and you can call me dumb for not learning this lesson quicker) No matter who your friends are, no matter how great your family is, no matter how intelligent you are, no matter how great your relationships, they will all fall short of providing true joy because at some time or another they WILL fail. So that sounds depressing but there's great news! God will NEVER fail to provide for us.

So this leaves me with the question I've tried to ask myself for the past couple months, "am I relying on God for joy and happiness in my life or am I relying on other things?" For me it's really hard not to say things like "when ______ happens I'm going to be so happy" instead of simply trusting God to provide as He sees fit.

For fear of rambling, I'm just going to issue this question to everyone who's read all this- "who/what do you put your faith in and if/when trials come is that person/thing capable of saving you and giving you joy?"

"But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the LORD, and He answered me from his holy hill. I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me. I will not be afraid of many thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around.... Salvation belongs to the LORD; your blessing be on your people!" ---Psalm 3 (selected verses)